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About Varied / Professional Member karmicpixi, JonathanPJoslinUnited States Group :iconallies-in-art: Allies-In-Art
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view from Dr.s office by KarmicCircle

Check up time by KarmicCircle

at the Doctors by KarmicCircle

at the Doctors by KarmicCircle

at the doctors office by KarmicCircle

Diabetes check up one year
for Isaac yesterday.
it went really well, in so far as a medical appointment goes.
his numbers were good his a1c was the same as it was six months ago, which is on target .
the Dr even got the process started for a continuous glucose monitor
because  while numbers are good,
his diabetes doesn't always believe in following "normal" diabetes trends/rules...
which leads to long  nights with not much sleep for me (being the main caregiver for both our sons  eldest Vincents health is good but he still has a 5 chambered heart.... and Diabetes care is constant, even though i am proud to say Isaac does a good majority of his own injections now ), as well as some odd high/low  blood sugar cycles , which then  makes for long nights and not much sleep, which becomes a repeating cycle , which all makes me (and everyone in the house fairly tired out....)

so ... yeah it seemed a brilliant idea
to try out a cgm (constant glucose monitor)
especially since it also has a low alarm so if he becomes low in the night , it will wake me up.
added bonus,
if we are seeing weird cycles of lows... or highs
 it charts it out  and shows if blood glucose is rising or dropping...


all of those things  , well it is priceless.
and it would hopefully also mean, a better sleep schedule for all.
YAY...



now....

in other news


yes.
i am sensitive...

i almost lost it and  cried  when the Doctor asked me "wait Why are You so tired... what did You get a late night Job or something??" .... after he congratulated Jon on his employment as a Prior Authorization Rep  ( which is Awesome!!i am not discounting or downplaying this fact, Employment is important for living!!!!  it means we have a place to live, and the ability to try and improve, whilst taking care of necessary everyday things ....)
i had to turn away....
and i almost just started crying ,  standing there feeling embarrassed, thinking , well no i haven't had a commission in quite a while i had two potential commissions both of which did not follow through which entirely made me feel like a joke) but instead of saying anything...i just kind of laughed a little laugh uncomfortable and ashamed
it makes me feel
seriously awful... Not to mention worthless... ( it makes it hard for me not to be hard on me for not doing more, but in addition to all i already do... please understand i don't take time/days off...... my health isn't awesome, i have R.A. it in turn affects my immune system  i am prone to getting sick, dysmorphic/degenerative disc disease (i am no longer five foot one and one half inch i am down to four foot eleven and a half inches, (my ribcage sits on the top of my hip bones)   it may not seem like much a difference but yeah ) i was born with a chiari malformation and my cerebellum is larger than most peoples , this means i have almost constant migraines (my brain swells and further blocks the place were my spinal fluids drain last time i saw the neurologist he wanted to carve out/remove part of my skull and remove several vertebrae to allow more room for my brain, but with 50/50 chance it would make it worse...it just isnt viable) and have , since i was 8,
i have R.A.D which complicates  heart arrythmia especially when my lungs are bleeding which happens  every month when i have my period because my body makes too much blood and cannot  process it all which the doctors have all told me is normal for me...
i dont take medications for any of these issues, mostly because after being shuffled from this doc, to the next, all trying to prove i am not really in such bad shape because well... just look at me .... i appear so healthy on the outside..every doctor... changing me  from  this  medication to that...
in and out of PT until they decided i  really do my own PT routine at home  and it wasnt effective to keep putting me through it , extra ...
to be laughed at by each new headache specialist, all of whom assumed when i first came in before they even looked at my xrays... mris... cat scans.... that i was just looking for drugs, that i was not really in pain, because i probably didnt truly have a  chiari malformation... i was probably experiencing tension headaches and not true migraines,
well after it is determined ... crap she really is fucked up, and is in a great deal of pain....
then begins the slew of here take this med or now try this , i had  awful side effects
and it didnt make the pain any better...
a few  of the meds they made me take, actually made things seriously worse and gave me vascular issues.several caused worse muscle tension  which was extremely painful...
none relieved the pain, all made me ill, so finally i said... no...
no more... i will just deal with it..... sorry to have gone off on such a tangent... but it takes some explaining , otherwise, it just seems all rather out of context... and please...
i am not complaining... it may seem it... but i am not... i just ...
god damn... people make me feel like  i am a piece of shit who doesn't do anything....)



like wow people think... i do nothing....


Jon ... spoke up suddenly to say....
she is the only one up all night, for lows... or high blood sugars
or if there is a emergency with Vincent regarding his heart ,
not to mention the cook/dietician, housekeeper
and teacher ( have always home schooled the Boys)
and is up early every morning helping me get prepared for work everyday.....

i said nothing, though i mouthed thank You to Jon...
i didnt turn back around for a few minutes...

....and yes. if You ask i have to admit
it is still bothering me this morning...

~karmicpixi

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KarmicCircle
karmicpixi, JonathanPJoslin
Artist | Professional | Varied
United States
Soulfully Shaped Art Of Varying Mediums

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the Support
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Commission inquiries email :karmicpixi@yahoo.com

You can also find Karmic Circle on
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And twitter.com/JonathanPJoslin




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:icongigi50:
gigi50 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Photographer
flower ~ thank you for the fave 2 by AStoKo :iconsomehugsplz:
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:iconkarmiccircle:
KarmicCircle Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional General Artist
very Welcome
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:icontsukiko-kiyomidzu:
tsukiko-kiyomidzu Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the watch! :D I really appreciate it! :hug:
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:iconkarmiccircle:
KarmicCircle Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional General Artist
Most Welcome :)
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:iconsabbelbina:
Sabbelbina Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you for the :iconplusfav:
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